This is one of the things that you have to experience a lot of before you know. In everything you love -- being in a relationship, working til wee hours and losing yourself in the perfect job, and all else that requires some form of intense commitment and effort -- there is a saturation point.
Mine is three years. Three years in a relationship is easy. A week or even a day after that, the boat starts to shake. Heck, it doesn't shake, it miraculously bears big fat holes where it matters. The job is a lot shorter. For a job, it takes me just about a year and I'm so sick and tired of it already. Like I feel that I'm doing everything mechanically and practically waiting for death to salvage what's left of my worn out soul.
Then, there's always that moment, that spark that makes you know for sure (even if you really don't) that this is it. This is the one. I will never get tired of this. It feels right. Everything just fell into place. Magic.
I think that's how the idea of fairy tales started, by the way. And I guess more and more people are realizing that it may have started as a fairytale, but not all fairy tales get a happy ending.
I am in a similar point in my job. There's so much growth and potential, but unfortunately, the people who should have stayed, the people who are so much more qualified and mature to handle management and technical issues are gone. Can you blame a young boss who doesn't really know how to act like one? Whose patience is as short as a toothpick? Someone who is only familiar with her tasks and no one else's on the team?
Whenever I feel like I'm hitting a wall, I only think of two options: one is to walk away and find some other easy door to pass through, or hit the wall even harder. Maybe it'll crack, make me tougher, and lead me to the other side.
Isn't there a cheat sheet for being an adult? Ay caramba.
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